Whenever cheating happens in a marriage, many people will instantly consider divorce, but only about half will actually go through with it.
A lot of media unfairly depict men as the ones who are prone to engage in infidelity, but we know they’re not the only ones.
This 2018 General Social Survey reported at least 13% of married women have slept with someone else.
The number may seem low, but it shows that women cheat too, and unfortunately, it happened to you.
Now that you’re aware of your wife’s infidelity, it’s possible that you are considering divorce while also thinking about the possibility of giving her another chance.
That’s a tough decision to make, but not all marriages are supposed to be kept, especially if honesty, loyalty, and respect are no longer present.
That being said, divorce may be the best path for you to take. Here’s why:
Therapy May Be Pointless
Therapy sounds like a good plan but it’s only really good if it’s going to work. In your case, though, therapy might not be able to change anything in your marriage.
You see, we all have somewhat stereotypical ideas on why men usually cheat.
Maybe she’s not giving him enough sex. Maybe he feels inferior and has low self-esteem. Or maybe he was too drunk, etc.
But when a woman cheats, on the other hand, it’s a lot more complicated than that.
And so, you should consider the possibility that your wife cheated because she is no longer invested in you and your marriage.
When a woman cheats, it’s more due to the emotional aspect – does she still feel seen and heard by you? Does she feel supported? Does she feel loved?
Maybe you’re doing all these things for her, but what if she craves the excitement of something new because she’s bored? That would be unfortunate, but it happens all too often.
But the most important thing is – is there even a connection between you two?
They say that women give their all in their marriages, therefore, if she decides to cheat, it only means one thing – she’s already at the end of the road. She’s already given up.
She may agree to go to therapy with you and try to patch things up, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that your marriage will fully heal and go back to the way it was before.
That being said, divorce is likely the best alternative and is backed by the fact that more than 50% of couples will split after infidelity occurs.
If that’s the path you’re willing to go, finding a divorce lawyer can assist you throughout the entire process, you can find one here.
Dragging Things On Can Be Expensive
Trying to save your marriage is a normal reaction to what you are experiencing right now, but dragging your relationship on can be extremely exhausting – emotionally and financially.
Yes, you can still give therapy a go and you can still give your wife and your marriage a chance. After all, it’s your decision to make at the end of the day.
However, once a woman gives up on you and your marriage, there is usually no going back. She may come back to you, but she’ll be an entirely different person.
The same thing applies even if you did go to therapy. That’s not to say therapy doesn’t work, it does for around 15% of married couples who experience infidelity.
You will attend therapy sessions, try to do your assignments, do your best to be the husband that she initially wished she had. All of that for what?
Physically, she’s there. But emotionally, she is most likely no longer present and committed. As a result, you’ll have wasted time, effort, and money.
And then, if it all fails, you will still end up in divorce or doing settlements, which again, will cost you even more money.
Better Sooner Than Later
Divorce is no doubt draining and nobody wants to go through the hard process and spend a lot of money on it, but sometimes, it’s better than staying in a toxic marriage.
In your case, you probably know that your wife’s cheating is a clear sign that she has already emotionally left your marriage.
Just knowing that – there is no longer any reason for you to stay.
Even if you have children, divorce may still be better because then they won’t have to deal with parents who are no longer committed to each other.
Hearing the constant arguing can make for a very toxic and traumatic environment.
The sooner you’re done with it, the sooner you’re giving yourself and your children the chance to move on and adapt to the new changes in your lives.
Men may have always been the ones unfairly given the reputation of cheaters, but women also commit infidelity and when they do, it usually means they’ve probably given up on their marriage.
With that in mind, staying and trying to fix your marriage, while noble, can also be a waste of time, effort, and resources.