Why You Should Be Cautious Of New Relationships

by Maria MagleoOctober 19, 2021

A new relationship can be exhilarating, but before you get too excited, have you ever thought about being cautious first?

We all know the basics when it comes to love and relationships: we meet someone, we click, and then, lo and behold, we are now in a relationship with that person.

In our minds, we have that “ideal person,” “ideal partner,” and the “idea of a perfect relationship.” 

Oftentimes, it’s so hard to meet these standards, and so when we finally meet someone who seems like the perfect candidate, we get too excited that we often forget to be careful.

We dive headfirst into a new relationship because we get too blinded by love, attraction, and compatibility, or chemistry. And this is where the problem lies.

You see, we tend to focus on these positive attributes and seemingly perfect moments that we fail to acknowledge the bad sides and to ask ourselves some important questions.

“Do I know this person very well? What if I find some serious flaws or I suddenly realize that his/her personality doesn’t fit mine? Am I willing to accept them?” 

The thing is, people sometimes refuse to truly analyze the situation and the person involved because they just want to be “happy and in love.”

But in reality, happiness varies depending on the circumstances and love is not enough to keep a relationship healthy and working. 

Why Being Cautious Is Important

Don’t get me wrong. It’s okay to fall in love and enter a relationship with the person you’re in love with. But, bear in mind that there is also nothing wrong with being careful.

You’ve probably heard about couples breaking up because “he wasn’t who I thought he was” or “I thought she was on the same page as me.”

Rushing things without really considering the pros and cons or the possible outcomes can often lead to disappointments and in the case of relationships, heartbreak.

You may think that being cautious is like being too guarded, but it isn’t. 

Yes, you are protecting yourself from possible hurt and disappointments when you are being cautious but you are doing it for good reasons and not just because you’re being irrational.

Let me tell you a few reasons why being cautious is necessary:

1. It gives you a clear view of your partner.

When we fall in love, it’s so easy to look at our partners as someone perfect and probably the best match for us.

Because of this, we often fail to acknowledge the fact that they are human too, that they have their flaws and imperfections, and that they also have their bad sides.

We get blinded in the beginning and consequently, we end up being extremely disappointed when we start to see our partners for who they are.

But when we take our time to understand who our partners are, we can ask ourselves “Am I ready for this?” or “Can I continue being with this person despite this?”

2. You don’t risk committing to something you are not ready for.

Of course, when you are fully aware of your partner’s good and bad sides, you will know whether it’s something you are willing to commit to or not.

You see, when you jump into a new relationship without really knowing what you’re about to embark on, you risk feeling stuck and lost. 

As a result, you are only depriving yourself of genuine happiness and fulfillment. 

By being cautious, you are not only analyzing the situation and preparing yourself for all kinds of possibilities, but you are also making certain that you are ready to commit.

3. You avoid losing yourself because of the wrong person.

Being in a relationship means that you are facing the possibility of losing yourself in the process. 

This is something you cannot entirely avoid because relationships require necessary adjustments and changes for them to work and flourish.

Considering this, you might want to make sure that you are with the right person and the right relationship so you don’t end up miserable later on.

Now, here’s something to remember: the right person won’t allow you to lose yourself, and even if you do lose yourself, it’s likely because you are discovering a better version of yourself.

4. You don’t confuse love for other things.

Love is complicated, isn’t it? It’s hard to fully understand what love is and to imagine how far we are willing to go just for the sake of it.

And, most often than not, we confuse love for other things such as infatuation or lust

Yes, we need physical attraction in building a relationship, but will it suffice in creating a healthy one? Of course, not. Because physical beauty will fade in time.

When this happens, the supposed healthy relationship you are building with a person will also vanish into thin air, and again, you will end up disappointed and unfulfilled.

Bear in mind that true emotional connection is vital in building a healthy and satisfying relationship.

Hence, if you want it, you should take your time to confirm if what you are feeling towards a person is really love or entirely something else.

5. You see love as it is and not as a fairytale.

Here comes the known, yet, hard truth – love is not a fantasy nor a fairytale that involves saving you from the dark or giving you the experience of a happy ending.

We all have our expectations and ideas of what a partner should be or how a relationship should go. Sadly, some of our expectations are way too unrealistic.

That is why when we meet someone who we deem as perfect and can provide for our needs (whether physical or emotional), we instantly make conclusions that they are the one.

And so, once we see that they cannot satisfy all of our needs, we feel disappointed. We turn our backs. And we leave. 

But, if we are cautious, we can see that real love takes time and healthy relationships are not one-sided because they can only be achieved through mutual efforts.

Does Being Cautious Mean You’re Anxious?

Don’t confuse necessary precautions with feelings of anxiety.

Although they are both protecting you from possible pain, disappointments, and heartbreaks, they differ in terms of reasoning.

Being cautious means you are aware of the possible negative outcomes or dangers and you avoid them because you know that there’s a much better and safer path for you.

You trust yourself, you know what you deserve, and you use them as a reference in building a meaningful relationship with someone who you feel might be the one for you.

There may be anxiety there, yes, but the amount of anxiety is just enough that it doesn’t hinder you from being rational and objective. 

You don’t focus on worries and fears, but rather, you are setting your eyes to achieving a relationship that is healthy and can give you happiness and contentment.

Final Thoughts

I always believe in the saying that “the best things in life always take time“. We cannot simply rush things and expect them to make us happy and fulfilled.

This is the same with love and relationships. Although it’s exciting to start a new chapter with someone special to us, it is still important that we are cautious.

After all, people and relationships aren’t always as they seem and you have to protect yourself from possible dangers and heartbreaks.

Recommended: What Is Couples Therapy & Is It Right For You?

Related:

Discuss Below

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked

{"email":"Email address invalid","url":"Website address invalid","required":"Required field missing"}
>