Why Breaking Up With A Cheater Is Not Always An Easy Choice

by Daphne GarrettMay 15, 2021

If you’ve seen someone being cheated on and they don’t break up with their partner, you may think they are foolish.

You may say to yourself, “I would have broken up with that person immediately!” And we get why. It’s easy to believe we would cut ties if we got cheated on.

However, situations and usually more complex. This article will explain some reasons why someone may stay with a cheater.

You May Believe It’s A One Time Only Thing

Some people are hurt by being cheated on, and they believe that the pain they feel and the remorse the cheater seems to show is proof that this is a one-time-only deal.

The sad truth is that most cheaters will end up doing it again. If it happens again, the cycle may continue.


Solution: The Cheater May Need Therapy

Accept that there’s a good chance that the person may cheat again. With some therapy, the person may get over their cheating, but there’s still a good chance they will cheat again.


You Feel Nostalgia For The Person They Used to Be

Even if you are furious at the cheater, you may still have hope that they will go back to their old self.

So when you look at the cheater, you may feel anger, but you may also still feel love for that person’s old self, which can influence whether or not you still stay with that person.


Solution: Realize They May Never Be That Person Again

Realize that, sadly, people change. Not everyone will be the same as they were years ago, and it’s okay for you to move on while still having a certain fondness for that person.


You May Be Too Deep In A Relationship

If the person cheats on you when you’re in the dating phase, it’s easy for you to break up with them.

However, if you’re living with that person, if you share the same house, the same possessions, and if you even have kids together, it can be tough for you to end things off.

Divorce, or even a long-term breakup, can be messy. You may feel like it’s easier to attempt to forgive the person than to end things off.


Solution: Do What You Feel Is Best

This one has no easy solution. Having your own account with some money may cushion you when you have a divorce, but no matter what happens, divorces are messy.

With that said, it may be better for you to go through a divorce than to be miserable for the rest of your life.


The Fear Of Being Alone Is Real

Another reason why a person may end up forgiving a cheater instead of breaking up with them is if they fear being alone.

This is especially true if they have been together with the person for a very long time.

They may feel like it’s too late to find someone else, or if it’s their first major relationship, they may feel like they won’t get lucky and find someone like them again.


Solution: Do Some “Inner Work”

This one involves improving your own self-confidence. Whether it’s by improving your health or improving your speech, having some self-esteem may help you realize that you won’t be alone.


Escaping An Abusive Relationship Isn’t Easy

In some cases, a person who’s being cheated on may not be able to leave because they are in an abusive relationship. In addition, they may have been threatened if they ever tried to leave, which makes them hesitant to do so.

Abuse isn’t always physical. A person may have emotionally abused them to the point where they find it difficult to leave.

In some cases, the abuser may have made it, so the person cut all ties with their friends and family, and they feel as though there’s nowhere to go if they leave.


Solution: Seek Outside Help

It’s important to find local resources that can help victims of abuse. Having a strong support network can also help. But, I know it isn’t as black & white as this.

But if you are in this situation, just know there’s always help whenever you decide to push back.


You May Feel Like You Deserved It

No one is perfect, and there is a chance that the person who has been cheated on may feel like they were cheated on as revenge for something. You may think you did something, but it’s not about you.

In extreme cases, both parties may have been cheaters. However, this is not always the reason. For example, a person may feel like they deserved it for not having enough sex with the person or another reason such as being naggy.


Solution: Accepting Payback Isn’t Healthy

Realize that you don’t deserve to be cheated on. You may not have been an angel, but there were better ways for your partner to handle it, not to cheat on you.


The Lack of Closure

Some people may stay with their partner because they feel like otherwise, there is a lack of closure in the relationship.

What does this mean? Basically, the person thinks that the relationship shouldn’t end abruptly that the story shouldn’t be over.


Solution: Acceptance

Life is like a story, but not all stories have closure. So instead, realize that your story will continue, but maybe not with your partner.


You May Still Love The Person

Finally, the biggest reason that the person who got cheated on stays in a relationship is because they still love their partner.

Even if they are furious at what the cheater did, they still feel love for them. Therefore, they are willing to work things out or forgive the person if possible.


Solution: Therapy

In this case, consider therapy, or realize that you can still love a person without being with them. Try looking at the situation rationally without the blinders of love on, and it may make you realize that it’s time to end things.


Parting Thoughts

Relationships are tricky and complicated.

Not everyone is going to break up with their partner the second they are cheated on. Instead, there may be more complicated factors that push a person into staying with their partner.

Some relationships are repairable after infidelity. However, it may take a long time to build up trust, and it shouldn’t be swept under the rug. Therapy is essential when repairing a relationship like this, so be mindful of that.

Related:

What To Do When Your Husband Chooses His Friends Over You
What To Do If You Feel Alone In Your Marriage
My Husband Hasn’t Touched Me In A Month, What Do I Do?
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