What Is Couples Therapy & Is It Right For You?

by Worried LoversJune 9, 2021

This is it. The strain on your relationship can’t be ignored anymore. So you’ve been scouring the internet for possible solutions to your problems.

But you’ve realized something…

And that is, your issues need more “customized” insight you can’t get from an article on page 1 of Google.

Enter couples therapy. Some also refer to it as marriage counseling or even just plain ol’ therapy. But what exactly happens in therapy?

And can it really help you with your relationship problems? In this article, we’ll answer some of your questions regarding that and when you should consider going.

The Goal Of Couples Therapy

The goal of therapy is to get an unbiased view of all the issues in your marriage or relationship. Getting an outside perspective from a trained professional is one way to uncover deeper issues you two might be unaware of. 

The therapist then teaches the skills needed to help couples work through these issues. In addition, having a therapist involved may allow for healthier communication, which is another major benefit.

Oftentimes, couples shut out effective communication when trying to deal with their problems on their own. Having a therapist involved can help avoid this.

When To Consider Couples Therapy

If you find that your marriage or relationship is experiencing any of the following:

  • Infidelity
  • Lack of intimacy
  • Feeling bored or alone in your marriage
  • Feeling distant from your partner
  • Communication issues
  • Considering a breakup 
  • Repeated arguments
  • Past traumas affecting your present relationship

It may be time to seek couples counseling.

What To Expect When Starting Couples Therapy

The first day of therapy is usually a surface-level “discovery” session. The therapist asks questions to try and get a bird’s eye view of the couple and their issues.

Some therapists may also look to see if there’s something more individual that could be contributing to your relationship issues, such as depression.

They may also ask you about how you 2 have come to be. This is needed to figure out the things that made you fall in love with each other, to begin with.

It’s important to note that therapy isn’t an overnight thing. It’s important to discuss your expectations with your therapist so they know what you’re looking to get out of this and how soon you’re looking to get it.

“Does Couples Therapy Actually Work?”

According to some research, couples therapy can work. However, that doesn’t mean it’s guaranteed to work. Every marriage is different. Some don’t want to put in the effort needed, while others are willing to go the distance.

But it also depends on what you define as “work.” Staying together doesn’t always mean therapy was a success. Remember, you can stay together and still be miserable. 

Sometimes, the best choice is to separate. And therapy can help couples realize that.

“What If My Partner Doesn’t Want It?”

If your spouse doesn’t want to try therapy, it’s still worth it to try individual therapy, especially if you’re going through things in your relationship that has caused you any trauma.

Unfortunately, if your spouse doesn’t want to give it a chance, you can’t talk them into it, then at least give yourself a shot.

The insight you gain can be invaluable even in regards to your marriage.

Where To Find A Good Couples Therapist

Ideally, you’ll want a therapist who has the skill necessary to help in dealing with couple’s issues. Remember, therapists may be good in one field and be lacking in another. 

A local option is also ideal if you want to be in the same room as your therapist. However, that will greatly limit your options. 

As you know, the more options to choose from, the more likely it is you’ll find therapists with the training to help you. Another benefit to having more options is you’re also more likely to find a therapist you actually like.

We recommend using online solutions like Better Help. Not only do they have qualified professionals to help you with your relationship problems, but they also have a large selection of therapists to choose from. 

We encourage you to take a look at their options and shop around—no need to settle for the first one you choose. If you don’t like your first pick, you can go with another.

Conclusion

Many people are skeptical of couples counseling, and you might be one of them. But there’s no denying the studies that have shown it can be an effective means of helping to solve marriage problems.

The choice is ultimately up to you and your partner, but you’ll never know unless you try.

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