How To Get Someone To Tell The Truth About Cheating

by Maria MagleoMay 31, 2021

They say that trust is one of the basic foundations of a healthy relationship, but what if you feel like your partner is keeping something from you lately? How do you get someone to tell the truth about cheating?

You might be noticing some changes in your relationship, like your partner’s abrupt cold attitude towards you or their sudden preoccupation with their physical appearance.

Maybe you’re seeing signs of infidelity, but how can you be entirely sure that your partner is indeed cheating?

Unlike what some people think, cheating is not always the same in every relationship.

There are many ways cheating can manifest, so before you decide to confront your partner, make sure that your claims are true.

Here, we will go through the most common signs that a person is cheating and what to do if your partner is indeed proven to be guilty.

5 Common Signs That Your Partner Is Cheating On You

There are so many telltale signs of cheating, but not everything is the same with everyone. 

Some may show all the signs pointing to cheating while others may be good enough at covering their tracks that they don’t show any signs at all.

Even so, here are some common signs to look for if you suspect your partner of infidelity:

  1. There is a  noticeable change in their behavior.
  2. Their gadgets and social media are suddenly “off-limits.”
  3. A distinct change in their schedule and usual activities
  4. They suddenly become hostile toward you
  5. You start to feel that you are losing connection

Let me explain it further.

1. There Is A Noticeable Change In Their Behavior

The very first sign of cheating is a sudden change in someone’s behavior.

You’re the one who knows your partner well, so if you are having doubts about his or her loyalty, take the time to subtly examine their typical day-to-day actions.

For example, people who are cheating often give more time and effort to their appearance, like the way they dress and the way they smell. 

They also have unexplained expenses such as large withdrawals of money or weird charges on their credit cards or bank accounts.

If you start to question them, they’ll give you odd and vague answers.

If your partner suddenly features these changes in their behavior, or they start to act dubiously, there is a chance that your partner is cheating on you.

2. Their Gadgets And Social Media Are Suddenly “Off-Limits”

Another way to tell if they are cheating is when they become overprotective of their gadgets, such as their phones or laptops.

This is especially alarming when they used to give their gadgets to you freely, but now you can’t touch their gadgets, or it becomes password protected.

Even when they give their gadgets to you, their messages are deleted, and their browser history is always cleared, it’s still a bad sign.

3. A Distinct Change In Their Schedule And Usual Activities

If your partner suddenly has to work overtime several times a week and has to go on unusual business trips, then maybe your partner is busy with someone else.

Maybe they failed to pick up the kids from school because of another unforeseen problem at work, and they are expected to stay late?

Or they become unreachable most of the time with some petty excuses such as a dead battery or they didn’t hear their phone ringing?

These obvious changes can also raise some red flags in a relationship and may be useful when trying to get someone to tell the truth about cheating

4. They Suddenly Become Hostile Toward You

Cheating people often display hostile behavior, especially toward their partners, because of some internal conflicts and unhealthy rationalizations.

They know that cheating is wrong but they often make excuses for themselves and put the blame on their partners.

If they start to always point out things they deem are wrong about you and your relationship, it may be because they are trying to justify their wrongdoings.

They may also gaslight you if you start asking questions, making you feel like the changes in your relationship are just all in your mind.

5. You Start To Feel That You Are Losing Connection

Aside from the hostility, it could also be a strong indication that your partner is cheating if you start to feel like your partner has become emotionally detached from you.

To simply put, the emotional connection is no longer there.

Being in a relationship with someone for a long time may gradually diminish the intensity of the emotional connection, but it doesn’t disappear entirely.

So, if you feel like your partner has entirely disconnected from the relationship in terms of emotional aspects, then it’s not a good sign.

Additionally, the sex between you and your partner has either lessened or started to lose its emotional intimacy.

4 Things To Do To Get Someone To Admit Infidelity

Note that even if the above-mentioned signs are present, it doesn’t necessarily mean that your partner is cheating, but they are still indications of a problem in a relationship.

Be that as it may, you can gather evidence that can back up these signs if your gut is really telling you that your partner is cheating.

Now, what if you have already proven your partner’s infidelity, and they start to gaslight you and tell you things like you’re just being paranoid and imagining things? How do you get someone to tell the truth about cheating?

Here are 4 things you can do to get them to admit the truth:

  1. Be calm and don’t intimidate
  2. Ask tricky questions
  3. Use your evidence to unravel the loopholes in their story
  4. Empathize with your partner

Let me give you the details.

1. Be Calm And Don’t Intimidate

If you want to get out the truth from your partner, the best thing you can do is to confront them in a calm and friendly manner. Be sure not to look intimidating.

If you start the confrontation angrily, chances are, your partner will only stick to their lies as they know that it will only make matters worse if they tell the truth.

Be mindful of your tone, listen to them carefully, and control your reactions. Give them time to talk freely without any interruptions and let them finish. 

If you confront them in a calm and friendly manner, you’re giving them the impression that you are there to understand them and their situation.

After all, listening to them would give you the opportunity to find holes in their stories and alibis helping you get someone to tell the truth about cheating

2. Ask Tricky Questions

Getting the truth from your partner is actually harder than you think. That said, you have to be clever and ask your partner some tricky questions.

People who cheat often have stories prepared, but that doesn’t mean that it would be a solid one.

You can ask them to repeat a certain part of their story and pretend that you didn’t hear it. Or you can be the one to repeat it but change the details.

For example, you can say, “You went to the mall to meet your sister after the meeting, right?” Even if they initially said that they went to the park to meet a common friend.

If they are really telling the truth, they won’t get lost in their own story. But if these stories are just all made up, asking tricky questions may make them spill out the truth.

Additionally, a sudden change in their body language is the best way to tell if your tricky questions are working.

3. Use Your Evidence To Unravel The Loopholes In Their Story

Of course, you already know the truth, and you have enough proof to support your claim, but don’t just throw them out in the open.

Since the goal is to get someone to tell the truth about cheating, the best way to do that is to utilize your evidence is to use them to deconstruct their stories.

Again, even if they have already prepared some stories and excuses in their head, there are still loopholes in it, and you have to pay attention to what they are saying.

If they are saying one thing, but your evidence is telling you otherwise, use it in the form of a trick question. It will be hard for them to get out of it.

4. Empathize With Your Partner

Being cheated on is painful, and empathizing with your partner who cheated on you might sound like the worst thing to do.

Yes, it may be hard, but if they feel like you are empathizing with them instead of condemning them, it might be easier for them to open up.

You may start by saying, “I know you cheated on me, and I just want to understand why.”

Hearing these words may make them feel guilty and may put their guard down.


The truth is, there is no easy way to get someone to tell the truth about cheating.

People who cheat won’t just tell you about what they are doing. They even have ways of covering their tracks.

You may even start to question yourself.

But if your gut instinct is telling you that something is really off in your relationship, take the time to check out the signs and gather enough evidence before you leap into action.

Recommended: When To Walk Away After Infidelity


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