How To Deal With Relationship Anxiety Without Therapy

by Daphne GarrettMay 18, 2022

How do you deal with relationship anxiety? This is a question that many people have and when you’re in a relationship, having some degree of anxiety is normal.

Especially if you’ve just gotten into a relationship, you may have worries the person will leave you or will betray your trust. Having some worries on occasion is normal, even as your relationship grows.

However, having chronic anxiety can be a sign that something is wrong. You may feel anxiety that is unbearable and is difficult for you to process.

In extreme cases, your anxiety may spell the end of your relationship if you don’t notice the signs of anxiety in a relationship.

In this post, we will look at how to deal with relationship anxiety.

Recommended: What Is Relationship Coaching & Is It Right For You?

When Relationship Anxiety Gets Unhealthy

Here are some signs that you may have an anxiety issue.

  • You are constantly worrying. Your mind brings up the what-ifs all the time, and you may create outlandish scenarios to justify how you feel.
  • You may feel intense separation anxiety when your partner is gone. You may end up calling them all the time to make sure they are okay.
  • Your heart races, you sweat, and you feel other symptoms of anxiety constantly.
  • You’re losing sleep over your relationship anxiety.
  • Other people have started to notice and are worried about you.

It’s Okay to Express How You Feel

If you feel anxiety, one of the worst things you can do is keep it bottled up.

We understand the reason why you may want to. You may not want to burden your partner or have them worry.

However, keeping your feelings bottled up is never good. You may end up going off on your partner, or it can make dealing with your relationship anxiety worse.

Try to Be Rational

Anxiety tends to consist of irrational fears, so one way to combat it is to be more rational.

Being rational can be difficult at times. However, look at the situation critically.

Let’s say you’re anxious about your partner leaving you. Is there any good evidence they are going to leave? Is this just a feeling you have, a hunch?

Rationalizing your relationship anxiety may help to reduce it. This isn’t to say you still won’t have irrational thoughts, but you may be able to swat them away faster.

Use Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the state of being in the present and not letting worries about the future take over.

With mindfulness, you observe the world around you currently and learn how to brush away any self-defeating thoughts.

There are many ways to achieve mindfulness. For example, some people meditate, which can help to calm your nerves when you are anxious.

Others use reminders to practice mindfulness exercises, such as feeling textures, observing your surroundings, or doing other activities to put yourself in the present.

Mindfulness is a practice found in many Eastern religions, but it has seen more secular popularity recently, and many studies prove its effectiveness.

Practicing mindfulness is great to deal with relationship anxiety, both generalized and more specific.

Understanding Why You Feel Relationship Anxiety

Another question you should ask is why you feel the way you do.

Some people may feel this way because of past relationships. For example, maybe you’ve had someone leave you before, which makes you wary of other people.

Sometimes, it may be because of how they were raised. For example, if you had parents who weren’t there for you, this might make you anxious about your partner.

Knowing why you feel the way you do can give you some insight into why you feel anxious about your relationship.

Of course, not all relationship anxieties are based on the past. For some people, they are just naturally anxious.

How Do You Overcome Relationship Anxiety

Exercise may help to reduce your relationship anxiety.

When you work out, you’re releasing endorphins, which are feel-good chemicals.

Not only this, but working out can help to calm you down and help you focus your worries on something more productive.

In addition to working out, you may want to try eating right as well. Some foods may help with your anxiety, while others may make it worse, such as junk foods.

Having a lot of sugar and caffeine, for instance, may make you feel more wired, which makes your anxiety worse.


Another way to deal with your relationship anxiety is to turn it into art.

Even if you aren’t an artist, try drawing how you feel.

You can write your feelings in the form of a poem as well. Using art to vent your emotions can be good for you in many different ways, and it can make you feel better when you are uncertain.

Distract Yourself

When you are feeling anxious, one thing you can do is distract yourself. For example, turn on a good show, watch some cat videos, or do something else that can distract you from your anxieties.

While some may argue distraction isn’t a good solution, it can help turn you away from your anxious feelings and keep you entertained in the process.

Go on a Date

Why not go on a date with your partner? Doing something the two of you enjoy can strengthen your bond and make you forget about your relationship anxieties.

Maybe see a movie, go out to eat, or do other activities that will strengthen your love.

As we are still in a pandemic, do this only if you’re vaccinated, and be sure to follow all guidelines.

When Dealing With Relationship Anxiety Needs Therapy

If your anxiety is extreme, you may need the help of a doctor or therapist. A doctor can prescribe your medications that may help with your anxieties.

Meanwhile, a therapist, especially one who deals in relationships, can be beneficial as well.

Many people may think they don’t need a therapist, but a good therapist can strengthen the bonds you have with your partner and allow the two of you to be on good terms once again.

You can read more about it here.

Parting Thoughts

Anxiety in a relationship can be normal, but you need to take some actions to reduce it when it overtakes your life.

You can reduce your anxiety by improving your relationship, talking about your feelings, and, if all else fails, seeking help.

Recommended: What Is Relationship Coaching & Is It Right For You?

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