How To Deal With A Cheating Wife In 7 Steps

by Maria MagleoJanuary 21, 2022

You believed she was faithful, but sadly, you found out about her affair. Now how should you deal with your cheating wife? Will you let your emotions give in, or will you be smart about it?

Whenever we hear the words “cheat,” “infidelity” or “affair,” it’s easy to imagine a scenario where we’re calm and collected and have all the right words to tell the cheating partner.

Unfortunately, that’s not really the case. In fact, finding out about infidelity can make you feel a lot of intense negative emotions and not to mention, extremely confused.

You don’t know why it happened, what you’ll do or how to ask the necessary but painful questions.

Wanting to act on impulse by letting all the negative emotions run wild won’t solve anything, and you may even regret it later.

So if you want to get out of this situation with a clear perspective and a positive mindset, you have to be smart when dealing with your cheating wife. And Here’s how.

1. Gather Undeniable Proof

First things first, how certain are you that your wife is indeed having an affair? Remember, cheating is a lot like a crime, so the burden of proof is on the accuser, which in this case is you.

You can’t tell her she’s having an affair based on your instincts. What if it’s just a misunderstanding?

Do you want to make things awkward by making her feel like you don’t trust her?

If your gut is telling you that something is wrong, gather enough proof so when you confront her, you’re 100% sure that you’re stating a fact and not just a baseless accusation.

2. Confront Her About It

Let’s say that you have all the necessary evidence and you’re certain that your wife is cheating on you. The next step would be the most dreaded confrontation.

Of course, this is the time when you have to collect yourself and remain calm because showing anger and resentment will only scare her off. And you don’t want that.

Why? Because once she gets scared of you, she might just end up lying to protect herself. Instead of learning about the truth, you’ll only have more and more questions.

But when you start the conversation calmly, she’ll feel like there’s a safe space where she can talk about what went wrong and why it happened.

3. Consider Everything

Hopefully, after the confrontation, you’ll end up having a better understanding of the situation because here comes another hard part – considering everything.

When I say everything, I don’t just mean the reasons she had. When I say everything, you reflect on the past, present, and most importantly, the future.

With all the things you’ve heard from her, would you be able to say, beyond any reasonable doubt, that her infidelity was justifiable?

And, of course, you have to think about the possibility of forgiveness. Because once you say that you will give her another chance, you have to commit to doing it.

4. Plan What To Do Next

You have two options – leave her or stay with her. Sounds easy, yeah? But, no, it’s not. Remember that your decision will affect your entire life so you have to be very careful.

You can either go for legal separation where you’re still married but living separately, giving you more time to think or you can file for a divorce if you’re already sure about it.

If you’re feeling a little lost due to your recent discovery and don’t know where to begin to file it, I recommend checking this article out. It will point you in the right direction.

However, If forgiveness seems like the best choice, then, by all means, go for it.

Like I said before, you have to be committed especially during difficult times when trust issues suddenly kick in.

I can safely say that therapy will likely be needed as the affair’s damage may be too great for you two to tackle on your own.

With it, you’ll be able to repair your relationship more efficiently, increasing the chances of your marriage surviving. If you’re interested, you can read more about it here.

5. Don’t Be Revengeful

Revenge may sound tempting but I can assure you that it won’t do you any good.

Not only are you making yourself small and childish, but you’re also sabotaging your path towards healing.

And probably your chance of getting back together, if you’re planning on going back to her, that is.

6. If You Have Kids, Don’t Get Them Involved

Parent’s issues are not kids’ issues. Keep them out of it.

Regardless of whether you’re separating or trying to mend what’s broken, your children must be living as normal as possible.

Don’t put them in the middle of it by making them take sides or by making your wife look bad. You will only hurt them emotionally and traumatize them for the rest of their lives.

7. Follow Through With Your Decision

It’s a tough decision, but it needs to be done. But, remember, be careful when deciding so you won’t regret it after.

Seeing remorse from your wife as well as the extreme effort to change and make things okay again is perhaps a sign that you can give her another chance.

But if there’s no commitment to making things right and winning your trust again, or if she doesn’t seem remorseful of what she did, then divorce is no doubt the best option.

Conclusion

Dealing with a cheating wife is extremely painful but you will get through it as long as you’re being smart about it.

Always remember that it’s your choice, and always go for what’s best for you and will help you heal.

If it’s divorce, go for it. Therapy can also help you move forward if you’re planning on staying.

But, if you’re still unsure, maybe you can just try legal separation to give yourself space and more time to think. After all, your decision will affect not just your present but your future too.

Recommended: Wife Cheated? 3 Reasons Why Divorce May Be The Way To Go

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