Your wife cheated on you and now you want to get over her. The question is, how are you going to do it? Where do you even start?
They say that women and men have different ways of dealing with emotional pain. While women mourn, men focus on other things as a way of ignoring the unpleasant feelings.
Doing so makes you seem tough, doesn’t it? But, let’s be honest here — deep inside you’re hurting because the woman you loved and you thought you knew did the unthinkable.
And maybe you’re thinking that avoiding or ignoring the unwanted feelings would make things easier and bearable, but the truth is, it doesn’t work that way.
You may be a man but it’s time that you really face your current situation and focus on healing. Men who are struggling with emotional pain need to heal too, you know.
And, the best way to do it, is to let go of what’s causing your pain. In your case, the cause of your pain is your cheating wife. Let me tell you how.
1. Give Yourself Time To Grieve
If you think that grieving the “should have beens” and the supposedly perfect relationship is too womanly, then you’re wrong.
This is something a lot of men should learn to understand.
You see, both women and men have the right to feel, and it’s just society telling you that really feeling your emotions would make you look soft or not a real man at all.
Here’s the thing: even if you grieve, cry, and hurt, you’re still a man. And you have every right to feel broken because your wife has cheated on you. Don’t let them tell you otherwise.
And, honestly speaking, grieving is just the beginning of your healing process. It’s the part where you’re consciously trying to process what happened and how it’s affecting you.
It’s letting go of all the negative emotions: the pain caused by the betrayal, the hate, the frustrations. And then, what happens next? Your thoughts will become clear.
Believe it or not, being unable to grieve makes your brain clouded. You’ll tend to act based on what you feel, and that may result in something that you will only regret in the future.
You will need a clear head if you truly want to move forward with your life.
2. Accept That Your Marriage Is Likely Over
Did you know that according to statistics, infidelity is the reason for 20-40% of divorces in the United States?
It’s not surprising because infidelity is a breach of marriage – it breaks your marital vows, it shatters the trust, there is no more respect, and there is no longer commitment.
Now, the best way for you to move forward and to get over your wife is to accept that her infidelity is already the end of your marriage. It’s painful, but it’s the truth.
She cheated on you because she’s no longer happy with your marriage, and staying would only make the two of you miserable.
Better to accept it now so you can start with the healing process than wait until the only thing left for you to do is to regret not leaving the first time it happened.
Of course, these facts can be shocking and it can be natural to be in denial about it, but If the data and facts above didn’t convince you, this article will.
3. Don’t Blame Yourself
It’s inevitable for anyone who experienced infidelity to blame themselves. While it’s normal, try your best not to blame your perceived shortcomings and imperfections.
Remember, your wife decided to cheat. You could be the most perfect husband, but if she wasn’t content or happy with you, then it’s pointless.
Again, it was her poor decision to cheat on you, and it’s not your responsibility to take the blame for her wrong actions and negative behaviors.
4. Talk About It
Based on my experience (personal and career-wise), men have a lot of trouble opening up about their emotions. As a result, it makes it hard for them to talk about what’s hurting them.
Some might think that it’s just a waste of time, but hey, give it a try and you’ll see how light the baggage would feel afterward.
If you feel like you can’t bring this up to your friends and family because of embarrassment or any other reason, then should seek out a therapist.
A good therapist will listen to you and your problems, and could potentially help you ease the pain.
Yes, it won’t make the pain magically disappear, but it’s a step closer to healing.
You can read more about it here.
But make sure to get it off your chest. Talk about your wife, the betrayal, and how it made you feel.
You can do it with a professional or with your support system. Whichever makes you comfortable.
5. Think About Yourself
Or, if you have kids, think about them too. Why? It’s simple. Would you prefer to move forward and heal or would you rather stay with someone who already feels like a stranger?
She may have her reasons for cheating, but whatever it was, it won’t change the fact that she’s no longer the woman you married years ago. She’s changed and so should you.
I’m not saying that you should take revenge and cheat on your marriage as well. What I’m trying to say is that it’s finally time that you think of what is good for you.
Take care of yourself and your kids (if you have) by letting go of what made your family broken. Sometimes, moving forward means you have to leave the heavy baggage behind.
Being cheated on is painful, and even if you’re a man, you have the right to feel sad and heartbroken because of your wife’s mistakes.
Even so, you can still move forward and be happy with your life again. The thing is, you must learn how to get over your cheating wife first for you to do that.