What can you do when your relationship has been lacking in the sex department?
And when I say sex, I’m talking about hot sexual foreplay, amazing performance in bed, and toe-curling orgasms.
But, what if you feel like you are lacking in one or all of these areas?
What if you aren’t providing your partner with the pleasure they wanted during sex?
If you do, then perhaps you are currently highly worried about its possible negative effects on your relationship and you are now thinking about seeking professional help.
Unfortunately, sex is a sensitive topic to share with others, especially when talking about one’s perceived inadequacies in bed.
If you’re still unsure and want to know essential details about sex therapy and what it can do for you, here are some answers to your questions.
What Is Sex Therapy?
Because it’s quite common and can cause extreme distress, those who are going through it seek sex therapy to help them improve their sex lives.
Just like any other talk therapy, sex therapy aims to provide solutions to sex life problems.
But, in this case, the therapy focuses on helping the individual to have a deep understanding of their personal and psychological circumstances about their sexual concerns.
Specifically, its main goal is to address sexual concerns including, but not limited to:
- Ejaculation problems (delayed or premature);
- Erectile dysfunction;
- Low or excessive sex drive;
- Inability to orgasm;
- Genital pain during intercourse;
- Unusual / disturbing sexual thoughts, fetishes, and behavior
It can also help married couples deal with issues revolving around intimacy that may have been greatly affected after infidelity or bearing children and unsatisfying sexual performance.
A Preview of Sex Therapy Sessions
There are a lot of possible factors that can influence a person’s sexual difficulties or satisfaction. And in sex therapy, the therapist’s goal is to find the root cause of these issues.
Hence, during initial sessions, you may expect a “getting to know” where you and your therapist will talk about your thoughts, attitudes, and behavior toward sex and your partner.
If the therapist deduces that your current sexual problem is not due to psychological factors and might need medical attention, then he or she will refer you to a medical specialist.
But, if the therapist perceives the sexual concern as a result of deep-seated issues, then they will work closely with you to address these issues efficiently.
This will be done through a continuous process of making you understand your thoughts and emotions on a deeper level and how it’s affecting your sex life and sexual satisfaction.
Assignments may be given to you by your therapist, and these are meant to help you practice better regulation of your thoughts and emotions and to encourage you as well.
Additionally, sex therapies are not exclusive to the person experiencing the dysfunction. Hence, you and your partner or spouse may opt to go together.
If you decide to do so, both of you will go through the same process as mentioned above, but you will need to work closely as a team to achieve your desired result.
And lastly, the couple may be asked by the therapist to practice open and honest communication about each other’s sexual desires and needs.
Who Needs Sex Therapy
As mentioned, sexual dysfunctions are quite common, but not everyone who experiences it’ll need the help of sex therapy.
However, the best way to determine whether you need professional help or not is by thoroughly assessing how it’s affecting you and your relationships.
If sexual dysfunction is greatly affecting your emotional state and mental well-being and is causing damage in some important areas of your life, therapy might be the best option.
Moreover, sex therapy is recommended if it’s causing extreme relationship or marital conflicts.
“Should I Bring My Partner With Me?”
It’s entirely up to you whether you will bring your partner to therapy sessions or not.
If you feel like your sexual concerns are only affecting you, there is no need for you to ask your partner to attend the therapy sessions.
However, you may want to include your partner later on so he or she can help and support you according to your needs.
On the other hand, if the sexual issues are affecting you as a couple, it might be best to incorporate your partner as early as the initial therapy session.
This will both give you a safe space to discuss your sexual wants and needs with each other and together you can find healthy ways of dealing with the possible cause of the issue.
Does Sex Therapy Really Work
Just like in any other kind of therapy, its success will depend on your commitment and perseverance to achieve the result that you want to see in yourself.
Even when your therapist has the necessary skill and certifications, if you are not yet ready to face your challenges and to fully commit, then there’s no guarantee that it will work.
Or, if as a couple, one or both of you are not truly open to making the necessary changes or dealing with the root cause of the issues, then it might not work as well.
However, if you feel like the compatibility between you and your therapist is what’s hindering you from improving, you can have the option to find someone who works better with you.
Where To Find An Efficient Sex Therapist
Sex therapists can be licensed, mental health professionals. These are psychiatrists, psychologists, marriage and family counselors, and even social workers.
That being said, you have a wide range of options when choosing the right sex therapist for you. But, remember, don’t just settle for their credentials.
Look for someone trustworthy which you’re comfortable sharing sensitive topics with.
You can do an online search for sex therapists near you or you can also check your local community for a list of licensed sex therapists.
But if you want to make your search easier and faster whilst giving you a large selection of experienced licensed sex therapists, you can simply check Better Help.
Aside from giving you a wide variety of therapists with all kinds of certifications and backgrounds to choose from, you won’t have to leave home to attend therapy sessions.
You can do it online and there’s no need to worry about schedules because you can do sessions whenever you need it.
Sex plays a very important role in keeping a relationship or marriage happy and satisfying.
That is why it’s a major red flag if there are perceived sexual inadequacies or difficulties, especially because it can have negative effects on someone’s relationship.
Whenever this happens, you might want to give therapy a shot to see if it could solve the problem.