Can A Marriage Heal After An Affair?

by Maria MagleoJanuary 8, 2022

After an affair, people will wonder whether their marriage can heal from it. But the answer to that question is a little complicated.

Infidelity can feel like a deep stab in your heart. And what’s worse is that the culprit is the one person you trusted the most, your spouse.

With this kind of crushing anguish, you might be wondering if the pain will eventually go away or If you will be able to fully forgive your spouse’s betrayal.

And if maybe, just maybe, you will be able to keep your marriage and find healing. If you want to find the answers to some of your questions, then read on.

The Dynamics Of Marriages And Affairs

Whenever we think about marriage, we never want to think about the possibility of an affair, because nobody wants to deal with this kind of trauma and pain.

The sad thing is, infidelity is always a possibility when you’re married and it’s not caused by a singular factor. Every infidelity has a story and every affair is different from another.

Let’s make it simple. Being married is not as easy as being in a relationship because marriage means tremendous change.

You’re building a family together which means that your priorities, personalities, and values will change.

Most of the time, it would be hard to keep up, especially if you and your spouse are not on the same page. Now, throw infidelity into the mix.

People who feel unhappy, unsatisfied, unheard, or unseen in a marriage are more prone to have an affair. Why? Because they’re looking for something to fill in the gap.

They’re looking for someone who can make them feel special again. A feeling they have lost when they started making a family. Sounds like a selfish idea, isn’t it?

Because marriage requires two people to remain committed and loyal to each other. Sadly, one kept holding on to the marriage, while the other person already decided to let go.

And what are the consequences of infidelity? A failing marriage, a broken family, and emotionally hurt children.

Psychologically, the person who was cheated on can experience trauma, depression, anxiety, guilt, and grief. 

Is Healing Possible?

Infidelity is devastating and it’s the kind of pain you wouldn’t wish on anyone. But, here’s the thing, even the deepest wound can heal. It will just take time.

In this case, though, the first step toward healing is forgiveness. Your spouse betrayed you in the worst way possible, so it’s up to you whether to give it another chance or not.

But, needless to say, not everyone deserves forgiveness. You must be able to feel it in your heart that your spouse was truly remorseful of what they did to you before you try to forgive.

And, if you’re truly willing to do so, practice healthy and open communication and give your spouse some time to prove that they would be better for you and your family.

Here’s What You Should Do

Here comes the most complicated decision: should you give your marriage another chance to heal the affair’s damage or should you leave your cheating spouse?

You see, if you are in this kind of predicament, you’re only left with those two options because inaction would simply mean getting stuck in a rut.

Your first option, of course, is divorce. To put it bluntly, sometimes you’re better off alone rather than in bad company.

There isn’t much to say about it, we all know what it is, but some people may not know where to start when it comes to divorce.

If that’s your case and you’re interested in divorce, you can learn more about it here.

On the other hand, you can try to salvage things.

Giving your marriage another chance will take time and effort. It’s hard, but with the help of therapy, your marriage might survive and possibly heal.

But, here is the thing – therapy doesn’t always work and oftentimes, it has something to do with commitment. If both of you are not genuinely committed, then it’s useless.

Additionally, your spouse must be willing to open up about their perception of your marriage and how it resulted in the affair. If they’re not willing, then what’s the point?

You can read more about the benefits of therapy here.

Now that I’ve laid it all out, it’s time you decide which is better for you.

Conclusion

When an affair pops up in a marriage, it can be quite challenging the heal the damage caused by it.

It may feel like it’s impossible, but there’s still a chance to heal.

Be it by yourself or with your spouse.

If you want your marriage to continue and to also heal, you and your spouse must be both committed to forgiving each other every single day.

Recommended: 3 Things You Need To Do Before A Divorce

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