Are Deleted Text Messages A Sign of Cheating?

by Khryss AustriaJuly 1, 2021

Most would assume that deleted text messages are a sign that their partner is cheating on them.

There are times when we just can’t help but check on our partner’s mobile phones only to be surprised by the things we see in there, like a suspiciously empty SMS or chat history.

Well, to be fair, your partner’s deleted chats can mean many things, from privacy issues to intricate family matters.

But if your partner’s not one to always clear their phone and your guts tell you that it’s something else, then it may be time to check if they’re actually covering their tracks so you won’t know their activities.

So, why would your partner delete text messages on their phone? Here are some of the possible reasons you should consider before making a move.

Why Would Your Partner Delete Their Messages?

Personal privacy

Perhaps your partner is an extremely private person, and he believes that no one should be meddling around their stuff, including you. 

This may be something that’s not easy to understand, especially when you believe otherwise.

But it’s actually among the most acceptable reasons why they would clear their histories

Your partner is entitled to keeping their personal space, especially if that means a lot to them.

Family matters

All families have their private matters. 

And so, your partner may have a family history or problems you don’t know about, and they’re not comfortable sharing them with you just yet. 

I understand that openness is necessary for a relationship, but some things should be kept in private. 

For instance, a family member may have confided in something that should only be between them.

To avoid conflict

You might want to take this with a grain of salt, but there are actually spouses who find their partners are possessive and constantly jealous. 

Even when there’s nothing to be jealous about in the first place. 

And so, to avoid any possible conflict or misunderstanding over a single text, your partner may have chosen to take the easiest route and just deleted them altogether.

They’re cheating

This is where your hunch comes in. 

They may be truly having an affair outside your relationship, and they’re making sure not to leave any traces. 

This is a textbook cheating technique as it’s a quick and easy way to get rid of any piece of evidence.

To hide flirty messages

Now, this is where things can get confusing. We all have our personal definitions of cheating

Your partner may be missing the thrill or just loves the attention, and so, they went on with the “harmless” flirtation. 

But any emotional affair can still be considered cheating. 

And they likely know that this will make you uncomfortable and upset, so they made sure to delete them. 

Sometimes, emotional infidelity may even hurt more as it constitutes feelings and emotions. 

How To Confirm They’re Cheating

Always give your partner the benefit of the doubt. 

But if you still want to know if their deleted text messages are a sign of cheating, here are some other signals of infidelity that may validate your suspicions.

Changes in sex life

While it may be common for relationships to have fluctuations in sexual activities, this can also signal that your partner is cheating. 

Decreased lovemaking may be because they’re doing it with someone else, while the increase of the activities in the bedroom may also be a way for them to cover up their affair.

Shift in schedule

Does your partner suddenly take in longer hours at work all the time and is going home late?

Or perhaps they’re having more and more business trips than usual? 

They may even be unreachable when they’re away. If so, they might be using this extra time to meet with their lover.

Money problems

Infidelity costs money, and it costs a lot! 

So, if you find unexplained expenses or charges on credit card statements and they couldn’t tell you a sensible reason for them, this is a red flag you shouldn’t ignore. 

It may be that they’re using this money to pay for hotels, restaurants, or even gifts for their lover.

This is especially true if you find purchase receipts in places you’ve never been to or have rarely visited.

Dishonesty and avoidance

Of course, if your partner has something to hide, they will be more and more secretive. 

They have to lie more often, and there’s just something off about them. 

They feel more careful about what they say. 

They may not want to be with you in public places anymore or even straight-up avoid you.

If you’re feeling ignored, like you don’t exist at all, or they feel emotionally distant even when you’re under the same roof, it may be time to start asking why.

Sudden attentiveness to appearance

As much as taking care of one’s appearance is an important part of life, when your partner suddenly takes more time and effort to improve how they look, this may be a sign of an affair. 

Perhaps they’re trying to catch someone’s attention, and so, they put in extra work to look more attractive.

Other unusual technology behaviors

Aside from deleted texts, there are various things cheaters do with their devices to cover their tracks. 

These include overprotectiveness of their phones and putting lock codes they refuse to share with you. 

They would never leave their phone unattended. 

You may also notice them frequently sneakily taking calls or walking away from you before picking them up.

Final Thoughts

These suspicious behaviors may help you know whether or not their deleted text messages are a sign of cheating, but there’s no way they can confirm it.

So, it pays to have a serious talk with your partner about it. Notice if they’ve been acting differently lately. 

If something seems odd, but you just can’t put the finger on it, you may also want to check these signs again and see if anything adds up.

Remember, you can always divorce and leave the relationship if you need to.

The sooner you can find out if your hunch is true, the sooner you will be free from all these worries.

Recommended: When To Walk Away After Infidelity

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