Dealing with a cheating husband is everything but easy.
When we’re hurt, it’s normal for us to want to blow up and let out all the negative feelings we have inside. There’s an intense need to hurt those who hurt us.
But, regardless of what you do, the reality is still the same.
Your husband cheated on you and there’s nothing you could do to change what’s done. But you have the ability to change what happens in the future.
And if you play your cards right, you might still find happiness even after going through the pain of infidelity.
Let me tell you the best way to deal with your cheating husband.
1. Confront Him About It
Before anything else, let’s be clear about one thing – confrontations are not always yelling and fighting. You can do them calmly, but before you do that, you have to take a deep breath.
And, remember, before you confront him, make sure that your emotions are at bay, the timing is right, and you do it privately. You don’t need other people to make things worse.
Now, be straight to the point and ask him about the infidelity.
If you have any kind of evidence, you may use it to show that you already know the truth and you just want it to come out of his mouth.
Lastly, talk about how your marriage ended up this way. Believe me, you need that conversation.
2. Reflect Upon Everything
After your confrontation, you will probably have most, if not all, of the answers to the questions in your head.
Some might worsen your heart to break but most of it will be enlightening.
It might take some time to fully understand everything, so you better give yourself enough time to sit down and reflect.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
This will help you to see things as they really are and also give you a sense of empowerment to finally know the best path to take – to forgive or to leave.
3. Plan Your Next Moves
In this step, there are 2 possible choices you can make – either forgive him or go separate ways.
Not Forgiving Him
If you ever feel like forgiving is something you cannot do right now, you can either opt for a legal separation or file for a divorce. Even if you still love him.
Whereas divorce means you will no longer be married, legal separation only means that you are living separately whilst still doing your duties as a couple.
It can seem extreme, but divorce can be the easy way out of a soon-to-be toxic marriage. And no matter what people tell you, always know that it’s absolutely fine to leave a bad marriage behind.
If you’re interested in divorce, but don’t know where to start, this article will point you in the right direction.
But, If you decide to forgive, you’ll have to think carefully about which actions to take in order to get there and to fully heal. You cannot forgive if your heart is still in pieces.
You may practice open and honest communication, but things may be awkward between you two, so doing this by yourself may prove difficult.
This is where therapy may be able to help you two not only reconnect but also possibly repair some of the damage caused by the affair. If you’re interested, you can read more about therapy here.
4. Don’t Be Revengeful
Whether you intend on staying in your marriage or not, be sure to let go of any grudges and do not take any kind of revenge on your husband.
Staying and getting revenge will only diminish the chances of your marriage healing.
And If you divorce, revenge would only make things more complicated and possibly cause other legal problems.
In other words, no matter what choice you make, revenge is never the answer.
5. If You Have Kids, Don’t Get Them Involved
Your role as parents is to take care of your children and not to hurt them in any way possible. Getting them involved would only make them emotionally hurt and traumatized.
Even if you opt for divorce, never ask them to take sides and allow them to live normally by helping them to properly adjust to the changes they are going through.
6. Be Proactive
It may sound tempting to stay in your comfort zone and be passive when you’re devastated, but your entire life will become stagnant by doing so.
Hence, it’s time that you move and decide. After all, it’s not just your marriage that is at stake, but your future as well.
7. Enact Your Plan
At this point, you should already know whether your marriage still has a chance of healing or not and whether your husband is committed to changing or just stalling.
Remember, you already have your plans – be it forgiving him and staying or leaving him and filing for a divorce. What’s left to do is to take action and go for the life you want.
Being cheated on is confusing, and dealing with a cheating husband afterward is even more confusing.
But with the right choices, you can survive and heal from the pain and trauma it has caused you.
But, bear in mind that to do so, you should go for what you think is best for you. And no matter the outcome you choose you can always heal from it.