15 Signs Your Husband Doesn’t Value You

by Khryss AustriaJuly 19, 2021

The signs of a husband that doesn’t value his wife sometimes can be subtle. But in this article, I’ll teach you what these signs are and how to spot them.

In an ideal and perfect world, your husband wouldn’t show any signs of not valuing you. As a matter of fact, he’d treat you like a queen.

But marriages aren’t always sunshine and rainbows in real life. It’s not as easy as the happily-ever-after you see in fairy tales. 

And the truth is your prince charming isn’t as perfect as he may seem. 

We all say our “I do’s” to our partners with a promise of putting each other first more than anything else. 

We pour endless time and attention into the relationship, doing our best to show the other that they’re loved and appreciated.

However, as time goes by, the burning passion and what was then a seemingly undying interest begins to wane and falter.

You may start to feel that your husband, who once had all his eyes on you, is taking you for granted or now has the audacity to look at someone else! You may even feel like you’re invisible to him. 

So, you start to wonder whether he still values you or not. If you’re feeling confused, unable to come to an answer, you may want to look at these warning signs. 

Whether intentionally done by your husband or not, these can show if your feeling is valid. 

So, here are the 15 signs your husband doesn’t value you:

1. You’re no longer his priority

Are you always taken back to the time when things were great, and you feel like the most important woman in your husband’s eyes? But where did this go? 

Now, it may feel like your husband doesn’t put you first anymore. He doesn’t even consider you when deciding or planning.

It’s as if you’re always the last option or the last to know when things happen to him. 

Everything else is almost more important than you. 

He may feel more and more distant, avoiding ways to spend time with you.

If you get the sense that he doesn’t care anymore about you and what you feel, he’s most likely trying to tell you something. 

2. He doesn’t care about your needs

Relationships are a two-way street. It requires a lot of giving and taking. This is why it’s called a partnership per se. 

So, if your husband stops considering your feelings and always puts up his needs over yours, it may be time to step back.

A healthy couple nurtures each other to grow, and both individuals have to do their respective duties. 

When he doesn’t support you with your ventures, or you’re always the one to adjust, this might show an imbalance in the relationship. 

What’s more, it shows how he’s willing to take you for granted.

3. He’s not willing to listen to you

Communication is essential to a thriving romantic relationship. And a key part of this process is listening.

Even romantic poets and writers fill their papers with metaphors of how beautiful it is to hear their partner’s thoughts. 

And you may have had a time in your relationship when you just can’t get enough of each other. 

You just talk nonstop, exchanging your aspirations and inspirations or whatever it is under the sun.

Now, giving you his undivided attention for just a minute looks much like a chore to him. 

It’s as if whatever you say doesn’t matter anymore- all your problems, issues, feelings, or even thoughts. He doesn’t care enough to listen to what you have to say. 

He doesn’t even want to hear about your day or gets bored pretending, which is a clear sign that he lacks concern over you.

4. He easily hurts your feelings

Your relationship should foster stability and security, a safe space for both of you to be vulnerable. 

However, if your husband seems to always push through decisions or do things that he knows would hurt you or make you feel bad, that’s a problem. 

This man should feel like home, but now, it seems like he doesn’t care about what you feel

5. He offers little to no affection

It is a human tendency to crave affection in a relationship. 

There are many ways we offer this to our partners to show how much we value and love them.

Our love languages may differ, but there is no wrong way of displaying our affection- except for doing nothing at all. 

When your husband stops looking for ways to keep the marriage flame burning, it’s a red flag you shouldn’t ignore.

6. He doesn’t thank you for anything

When we love someone, we like doing things for them and even take the extra effort to make them happy. 

And all it takes is just a simple “thank you” in return to make us feel appreciated. 

So, if you always do the chores at home or you’ve recently surprised him with something special, but he never got to thank you for your efforts, it may be alarming. 

This can be a sign that he’s deliberately looking past your efforts or thinking that this is something that you’re expected to do, which, therefore, doesn’t need any appreciation. 

A gap in gratitude may show that he doesn’t value you and what you do for him anymore.

7. He brushes your concerns

Gaslighting is never welcomed in a healthy relationship. 

If your husband constantly does this and refuses to take your concerns seriously, not only is it a sign that he doesn’t value you, it also constitutes emotional abuse. 

Your pains and emotions are valid, and he should know that better. 

But instead, he may spin your words and deliberately misunderstand to put the blame on you and make you feel guilty.

8. He always resorts to the silent treatment

I will never get tired of telling people how communication is crucial to a healthy relationship. 

And the silent treatment automatically turns this off. If your husband is a fan of using this method instead of using his voice and talking things out like adults, you may end up feeling confused and irritated. 

This can greatly affect your mental health in the long run. Not to mention, this is completely unfair! 

His unwillingness to put the necessary action to resolve things together shows how much he actually values you and your relationship.

9. Your life doesn’t interest him

Well, what’s the most common sign that your husband doesn’t value you anymore? 

He just doesn’t care how you’re doing or what constitutes your day. 

He may even dismiss your own goals and interests in life. 

He’s not interested in getting to know you better. 

Everything seems to be about him nowadays, and your own values and aspirations are irrelevant. 

This may also show that he doesn’t see you as his equal anymore.

10. He disrespects your boundaries 

Boundaries are important to keep you safe or make you feel so. 

And no one in the world has the right to just barge right through them- even your most beloved husband. 

Your partner should never expect you to shrink yourself to accommodate his needs. 

He can’t make you do anything as he pleases! 

Once your husband wilfully ignores the boundaries you’ve clearly set, even when he knows how important this is to you, he’s downright disrespecting you.

11. You’re not included in any decision-making

Does it feel like you don’t have a say in any decisions at home? 

If your husband is making you feel like your voice doesn’t matter, this may mean that he doesn’t value what you have to offer and doesn’t want to hear them at all! 

He’d never ask for your advice and opinions. Instead, he’s repulsed to hearing your perspective on things. 

Or, if you find the courage to speak your thoughts, they’re usually just dismissed. 

Worse, you may just be considered as his accessory or trophy and not his equal.

12. He books your calendar without asking permission

This is also a clear sign that he doesn’t put importance on you. 

He doesn’t value your time and schedule. 

Does your man make it a habit of booking up your calendar without prior notice? If so, why would he assume you’d drop anything to cater to his schedule? 

It shows how he doesn’t respect your time and even individuality in general. You must be the one to have the final say on your availability and not him.

13. He speaks poorly of you even in public

This one is a classic sign, any husband that doesn’t value his wife will speak poorly of her to others.

This could start as “innocent” little remarks you may have just laughed out. 

But after a while, it turns into belittling or mocking that breaks your heart and tarnishes your sense of self. 

What’s more, he doesn’t care wherever you are or whoever you’re with. 

He’s more than willing to embarrass you in front of anyone who’d dare to listen. But, of course, no man who values you and loves you would do such a thing.

14. His actions don’t speak love

While not everyone is a big fan of romantic gestures, men usually underestimate the impact of little thoughtful actions in marriage. 

We all want to feel important in a relationship, and it’s a need your husband should satisfy. 

If he doesn’t put in the effort to make you feel special and valued, perhaps his lack of action is trying to tell you something.

15. He flirts with other ladies

What’s worse, he may not even bother hiding it

If your husband is making advances on other women and giving them the romantic attention that’s supposedly reserved for you only, it’s time to make a move. 

Whether or not there has been physical contact, this clearly shows that he’s cheating on you on purpose. And you should know when to walk away from a relationship after infidelity occurs.

It’s time to accept that he doesn’t value you as his wife and lifelong companion anymore.

Final Notes

We all deserve to be in a relationship where we feel appreciated, loved, and taken care of. 

This is not an exhaustive list of the signs your husband doesn’t value you, but I hope this gives you clarity and helps you plan better your next steps to take over your happiness now.

Recommended: 9 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Filing For Divorce

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