13 Questions To Ask To Find Out If Your Spouse Is Cheating

by Daphne GarrettMay 5, 2022

You probably felt that nagging feeling of cheating. But, is there any way to prove it? Well, yes, there is! Asking questions directly to find out whether your spouse is cheating or not can be a great strategy.

There are signs too of course, but let’s go over the best questions to ask to see if they are, and what you can do with the information discovered.

Recommended: 3 Clever Ways To Catch A Cheater

1. “Is there any reason why you always call me at specific time points?”

This is a good one.  If you notice that your partner is optimizing moments and counting minutes, then chances are there is something weird going on.

If he’s suddenly doing rituals, you may wonder if there is something deeper going on at this point. It’s a subtle sign, but it does work.

2. “I noticed you’re getting home late. Got a new job?”

This is another common red flag when it comes to cheating, they’ll start to come home later. Oftentimes, this is because they spend all their time with the other person.

If you notice they’re doing this, use this question to find out if your spouse is cheating. However, no need to come off too strong. Just make it part of a regular conversation.

Alternatively, if you think something is afoot maybe you can try to catch him in off-guard.

In point #3 of this article, it’s mentioned that dropping by unannounced is a simple yet effective way of catching a cheating man. If you want more tips, you can read that article here.

3. “Where did you learn that lingo from?”

Sometimes, a cheating wife or a cheating husband will use lingo that you’d never heard them use before.

For example, maybe you notice they’re starting to use a random swear word they never used before. That could be a sign that they’re spending time around someone new and different.

While yes, it could just be a new friend that they like spending time with. But if they get really defensive over it, that’s something to keep note of.

4. “I’ve never seen you do the chores without me asking. What’s gotten into you?”

This is another sign of cheating. If they suddenly start doing nice things without being reminded, they may be trying to hide something.  This is sometimes done when they are trying to save face with you.

In psychology, this is known as “over-correcting.” It’s when someone feels so guilty for doing something, they make up for it in other ways.

Pay attention to how they answer this question when you ask it. If they seem suspicious, take note of that.

5. “Why are you changing your routine up?”

Similar to a few other points, if you notice sudden changes in the routine, there’s a strong chance something is happening.

That’s because cheaters create rituals to help stave off the guilt of looking bad.

Maybe they will take a shower as soon as they get home. Or maybe they’re suddenly going to the gym to impress other people.

Don’t get me wrong, people change up their routines every now and then just for the sake of changing things up. But it’s still worth questioning and seeing how they respond.

6. “Why do you suddenly care about the lingerie I wear?”

When people start to cheat, they’ll suddenly ask A LOT more out of their partner.

If they’re a man, he might suddenly ask you to wear that Victoria’s Secret lingerie. This is mostly odd if they said they never cared for it in the past. Or maybe they want to do something experimental and adventurous in the bedroom.

If he never gave a crap about that before, chances are the affair awoke something within him, and he’d like you to do the same things his mistress does.

It may help spice up your marriage, but also know it could be a red flag. Asking about his sudden interest in this may reveal something.

7. “Why are you suddenly suggesting we go out to get drunk?”

This is another strange sign of cheating that you need to question.

Your partner suddenly feels young again. That’s because of the impulsive and adventurous nature of the action.

Maybe the affair makes them want to do more reckless things. Maybe they’re drinking more and bringing out that bottle of 200-proof alcohol.

If you notice these weird changes, you might want to question it, since it’s clear that there is something strange going on.

8. “Why are you always driving alone?”

If you start to notice your partner driving alone a lot more, when they typically bring you along, consider it a sign of something weird.

Sometimes it’s more of a divide and conquer reason, rather than a cheating reason.

But if they’re constantly leaving you out of the picture when driving, this could be a clear sign of cheating. Especially if they have weird responses when you ask them about it.

One thing you can always do is check where they’re actually going.

Like I said previously, In point #3 of this article, it’s mentioned that dropping by unannounced is a simple yet effective way of catching a cheating man. If you want more tips, you can read that article here.

9. “Why are you always lying?”

This is another big one. If you find that your spouse is constantly lying, make sure to ask them this and some of the other questions in this article because constant lies are usually a tell-tale sign of cheating.

Lying is another key sign of cheating. Cheaters love to lie, and it’s sadly more common than you think.

Asking them about their reasoning for it will throw them off. Especially if they’re used to you not questioning it. This is especially more powerful if you have evidence they’re lying.

10. “What’s got you so riled up?”

This is when you smile at the waiter and they get defensive. Maybe you’ve always been the friendly type, but this time, they get mad about it.

Maybe you have to meet with your boss, and they suddenly get angry and jealous.

That’s because they may assume you’re having an affair, making you look like the bad guy. They know that if they can pawn off the idea that you cheated then it’s okay for them too.

Or it could even be a form of guilty gaslighting. Where they blame you for something they did.

Asking about this behavior is needed if you want to get down to the bottom of it.

11. “Where’s your jealous streak?”

On the flip side, maybe your partner has always been a little too overprotective and jealous.

Then suddenly, they just don’t give a damn anymore.

That’s because it’s trying to mitigate their own affairs and actions. Yes, women and men use this.

This is again, filed right under that sudden change of heart that suddenly happens. It’s important to question this if you notice it.

12. “Why are you acting so anxious/depressed?”

People who have affairs suddenly feel both depression and anxiety after the deed is done.

Why? That’s because they feel guilty about what they did. The guilt of the act, combined with keeping the secret, suddenly start to weigh heavy on them, taking a toll on their body and mind.

Suddenly, they start to get anxious and on edge about everything. The stress of a dark secret takes a huge toll.

You might notice a disinterest in eating, sudden blues, even insomnia when you’re dealing with someone who doesn’t come to terms with the fact that they cheated.

They might blame it on other things, but usually, if not visible changes are in the environment, chances are it’s something that is happening behind your back.

13. “Why do you suddenly justify their cheating?”

This also happens commonly too.

Sometimes, you might find out that your best friend or someone you care about was cheated on.

Instead of feeling the same dismay, suddenly your partner starts to justify the cheating. They say – “oh he’s never been happy” or “that’s a part of life, people have affairs.”

If your partner has never been the type to say that, that’s an automatic red flag. They may be trying to justify their own actions in secret.

They want to avoid condemning the action.

So what do you do then?

The answer, question them on it. It’s clear that they’re hiding something, and refuses to come to terms with it.

This becomes an even bigger red flag if he knows the person who got cheated on was someone close to you.

What Next?

Asking these questions can help you find out if your spouse is cheating, and if they are, you’ll have to confront your partner about cheating.

This is easier said than done since some people try to weasel their way out of it. Some are quite good at that!

Alternatively, if you prefer a faster and more direct approach, you can try to catch him in the act. If that’s what you like but lack the know-how, this article may help you with simple yet clever ways of doing it.

Making sure that you question their actions and get to the bottom of it, you’ll be able to get to the root of the cheating or at least try to get the truth out of them.

And if you see weird behavior, you should definitely call it out, since it may reveal the truth – cheating in disguise.

Recommended: 3 Clever Ways To Catch A Cheater

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