While it’s usually men who bear the burden of being accused of cheating, women have also been reported to be increasingly guilty of being unfaithful today as well.
Data from General Social Survey (GSS) during the ’90s show that men considerably cheat more than women.
However, a recent survey suggests that this gap is slowly closing, with 20% of men and 13% of women engaging in adulterous behavior!
If you’re suspecting that your wife is cheating on you, I have listed some of the signs that could back up your initial hunch.
1. She becomes emotionally distant.
This is perhaps among the clearest signs that something’s wrong with your relationship.
Whenever women become emotionally distant, that potentially signifies that she’s getting emotional support elsewhere, and cheating can be a possibility here.
Do you feel like there’s a sudden shift in your emotional intimacy? Is she been becoming less and less open to you, unable to share her thoughts and feelings anymore?
While we all exhibit different levels of emotional vulnerability, a healthy relationship provides a safe space, especially over the years of being together.
It’s what keeps the marriage intact even when the bloom is already off the rose.
When your partner suddenly feels cold or doesn’t seem emotionally available anymore, this could be a huge red flag for cheating.
Chances are, the focus has moved to someone else.
2. She seems to be protective of her devices.
Living in a digitalized world, there’s a higher chance of revealing infidelities through technology.
When women resort to cheating on their partner, they’ll likely use their phone or computer to communicate with the other lover. This is because they have limited ways to contact and connect with him.
This is also why cheaters tend to show considerable changes in their phone use. Notice how she acts when she’s on the phone, and you’re around.
Does it seem like she’s guarding her devices against you as if her life depends on it? Are there many instances when she won’t answer these mysterious phone calls when in front of you?
Here are some of the signs you should take note of:
- She suddenly puts up passwords on her phone and laptop or has changed them recently and won’t share them with you anymore.
- Your partner now always clears her browsing history and deletes messages out of the blue.
- She seems to be sneaking off to text or take calls.
- She quickly puts away her devices when you walk in on her using them. This could be either through concealing the screen or turning them off.
- There’s not a time when your partner leaves her phone unattended. She takes it everywhere with her, even when taking a shower.
3. She’s different in bed.
When women are cheating, they’re not only likely to lose interest in bed but could also become more active and even adventurous instead.
Any changes in the frequency of your sexual activity, both its increase and decrease, can be signs of an affair!
When you find yourself having less sex, or it’s practically non-existent, it may be a signal that she’s dating someone else.
But she may also engage in lovemaking more frequently to cover up the infidelity.
Either way, you may feel like while the physical act is there, but you still feel farther away from each other as if something is blocking the connection.
You must also keep an eye on when she suddenly introduces new things in the bedroom.
While this may feel amazing and exciting, it could also be that she has learned these sex tricks from someone else.
4. She’s become more argumentative and irritable.
There are endless issues she can always drop on you any time of the day.
It’s like you’re the most annoying person in the world, and everything you do is wrong. She’ll find every mistake and even feed on your weaknesses to pick a fight with you.
This is because a study shows that cheaters tend to justify and find excuses for their toxic behavior, at least in their own heads. And the way to do this is by blaming you!
It may also soothe her internally as all these mishaps and shortcomings seem to justify her choice of looking for some fun time elsewhere.
Or that the new relationship has highlighted the things you lack, and so, she starts comparing you to that seemingly “flawless” person.
If she isn’t cheating, this could indicate that you two are losing that special connection.
And could likely call for some therapy work to help you both connect again and avoid a possible future breakup. You can check out an article about it here.
5. Her schedule is suddenly all over the place.
When women have stable work routines, and that routine is suddenly changed, cheating could definitely be taking place. Especially if combined with the other things on this list.
Does it seem like her schedule suddenly shifts from time to time? She’s always busy, and you can’t keep up.
If there seem to be abrupt changes to her routine without any understandable reasons, you should start asking why.
Notice if she starts working late more frequently or she becomes strangely unreachable at times.
She may also suddenly need to travel for business or work. You may even find her always late or absent on everything, yet she has tons of excuses to explain this.
This could signal that she has her priorities elsewhere, and she’s trying to fit the lover in her life.
6. She shows too much interest in your schedule.
It’s entirely normal for your woman to ask you what’s going on in your day. It’s a nice way of showing you that she cares.
However, if this becomes to feel like she’s just keeping tabs on you and your daily itinerary, this may signal something else.
If she’s overly curious about your schedule or whereabouts and may even look nervous asking you about it, it could mean she’s planning to do something behind your back.
The next thing to find out is if it’s a good surprise or some scandalous escapade she doesn’t want you to know about.
7. She’s suddenly overly conscious about her appearance.
Of course, this alone doesn’t guarantee that your wife is having an affair.
We all aim to be healthier, and so, the fact that she’s doing the necessary work like exercising and eating better is a great thing.
If she’s suddenly having all these makeovers and putting more effort into her looks, you may want to find out if this is because of life changes you don’t know about.
For example, she may have cut her hair to signify a fresh start in her routines. This may also indicate that she wants to look more attractive to someone- hopefully to you.
But when combined with other suspicious actions, this is where it gets tricky.
From her new perfumes down to sexy underwear, you may want to ask yourself if this should be a cause of concern.
8. She’s always lost in her thoughts.
Women are branded as great listeners. Therefore, your partner is likely to be attentive to your needs and would take the time to understand what you’re trying to say when you communicate.
If it seems like her mind is always elsewhere, you must find out where her thoughts are taking her.
Is something bothering her, or are you possibly boring her?
If her explanations for her lack of presence both physically and mentally aren’t clear, it may signify that she’s cheating.
She may even feel distant and constantly preoccupied with something you don’t know.
If you feel that something is just off but can’t seem to put your finger on it, your guts probably tell you to keep an eye on things.
9. She has sudden unexplained expenses.
Most men and women, when cheating, fail to consider the expenses that come with infidelity because, frankly, it costs money!
If you find odd charges on credit card statements or that the money in your mutual funds or her account alone starts to become depleted, you may want to investigate them as soon as possible.
Ask them about it and see if their explanation adds up. If not, well, I guess I won’t have to tell you that it’s not a good sign.
10. Changes in hanging out with friends.
When it comes to cheating and betrayal, the cheated partner is almost always the last to find out about the outrageous deed.
That means her friends most likely know about it now, and your friends have probably found out or called it already.
And since this is considered outside their business, they may feel uncomfortable hanging out with you because it’s not their place to break the news.
So, their behavior may also change towards you without prior notice.
Also, if your partner is already considering going with the affair, she’s likely to start removing herself from your radar and working on a new life away from those close to you.
11. She handles cheating confrontations with avoidance.
When you finally get the courage to confront your partner about infidelity, chances are a cheating wife will deflect it by staying silent, finding diversions, or even gaslighting you.
This isn’t exclusive to women because anyone guilty of cheating will get defensive and may even shift the blame on you, especially if you’re accusing them of infidelity.
Not to mention they could go the route of accusing you of cheating instead!
Note that these are also signs of abusive behavior, which is not healthy for your relationship regardless of whether she’s cheating or not.
If you can’t get a direct answer and the reassurance you need, it may be time to consider other options.
A word for the weary
At the end of the day, there’s no way you can confirm or deny your suspicions with these signs alone. But, you can either confront them about it or devastatingly catch them in the act.
But these prove as warning signs you shouldn’t take for granted.
Should you learn that your wife is cheating on you, I advise you not to sit on it and go through the pain alone. Instead, call someone you trust or even go to therapy sessions if you can.
And remember, revenge is not always the best choice.
Recommended: When To Walk Away After Infidelity