Every marriage goes through some rough patches, and how the couple handles it determines the course of the marriage. However, some of these rough patches are red flags that could spell the end of your marriage.
You see, there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Thus, you cannot expect your partner to be perfect either.
Throughout your marriage, you and your spouse will surely make mistakes. And it is actually up to you both on how you will handle each other’s imperfections.
Sometimes, your marriage will come to a point where it seems like it’s about to end, but then, you will realize that it was just another bump in the road.
And then, other times, you will feel like there is no other way to go anymore. It feels as if you’re stuck in an infinite rollercoaster ride of negative emotions.
It can be pretty confusing, right?
Now, you might be having another rough patch with your spouse, and you want to determine if this is it. If this is the moment, you can finally say that your marriage is over.
If you want to know the signs of a marriage coming to an end, read along, as I will share some red flags with you to look out for.
The 11 Marriage Red Flags
Several factors determine marital distress, but note that not everything that causes problems in a marriage will lead to separation or divorce.
Be that as it may, marital distress can still play a vital role in the success of any marriage.
Now, you might be experiencing extreme woe with your marriage lately, and you are no longer sure if it’s still working or not.
If that is the case, here are some signs to look out for that say your marriage might be over.
1. Lack of trust
Trust is one of the building foundations of any relationship, and without it, love just won’t be meaningful and fulfilling. Remember, being married means that you trust your spouse with your life.
That includes personal matters like money, family, and so on.
Trust makes you feel safe. It assures you that your partner is and will always be there for you no matter what.
It is comforting to know that you will still be loved and accepted whatever it is you share with them. That no matter how difficult the situation is, you are still secured and valued.
It’s not a good sign if you are no longer feeling safe and protected in your marriage, as that can trigger many negative thoughts and emotions.
And the thing is, lack of trust is just the beginning of a troubled marriage because it will spiral into bigger problems.
2. Lying or keeping secrets from each other
In any marriage, you and your spouse must be both open and communicative with one another.
Not only will it nourish your relationship, but it will also strengthen the trust that is needed to keep your bond stronger and your marriage successful.
However, keeping secrets from each other, no matter how big or small, could be a sign of a struggling marriage. The same goes for lying.
As we all know, keeping secrets and telling lies are ways to cover up the hard truth. And in marriages, it could be money problems, addiction, infidelity, and so on.
If one or both of you are doing any of these things, it only means that trust is already missing, and the meaning of your marriage is no longer being valued.
3. No more emotional intimacy and sex
Have you noticed that you and your spouse are no longer supportive of each other? Or your emotional bond hasn’t been the same lately?
Or perhaps, there has been a significant change in the sex, whether it has lost its emotion, intensity, or maybe it has been off the table for quite some time now?
Take note that sex and emotional intimacy are important in a marriage. That being said, if these are no longer present, then it could be a bad sign.
After all, losing them could mean that you and your spouse are no longer bonded, physically and emotionally.
4. Arguments changed dramatically
Arguments can change in two ways: one, you and your spouse start to argue more than before, with even the pettiest reason triggering the arguments.
And, two, you and your spouse just stopped arguing altogether. Now, these two changes could be very problematic and could be considered as red flags.
If the arguments become frequent and easily triggered, it could mean that you and your spouse can no longer tolerate each other and possibly have contempt for each other.
Meanwhile, if you completely stopped arguing, it could be because you no longer care about each other, and you couldn’t care less about what the other person does.
Whether it’s contempt or indifference, they are still negative emotions that shouldn’t be fused with marriage.
5. One or both of you are stonewalling.
Stonewalling is a form of response that is not healthy or helpful in any form of relationship.
It could make the person being stonewalled feel unworthy and abused, so instead of resolving conflicts. It will only make the situation worse.
Now, it can be a red flag because it can signify several things.
It could mean that the person stonewalling avoids conflict, which is unhealthy and frustrating for the person receiving the cold treatment.
If this is the case, fixing the marriage could be very difficult, especially if one has already become emotionally detached.
While in other instances, stonewalling could be a form of manipulation and control, and this is when it becomes emotionally abusive.
Remember that any form of abuse in a relationship or marriage should not be tolerated in any way.
6. Sexual or emotional infidelity
Another important red flag to look out for is infidelity which can manifest in your marriage in several ways.
If you start to find yourself wishing that you are single and available or wishing that you are with someone else, it only means that there is something wrong with your marriage.
Additionally, if one or both of you are cheating, perhaps you and your spouse don’t value each other anymore, which could be another sign that your marriage might be over.
7. There is domestic violence involved.
To be married means that you care for your spouse’s welfare.
Now, if that is no longer the case, then it could be very problematic, as it can only mean that your spouse no longer has regard for you.
As I mentioned a while ago, any form of abuse should not be tolerated.
Even if domestic violence only happened once so far, you cannot be so complacent that it won’t happen again.
Moreover, this raises even more concern if you have children. Would you like them to grow up witnessing the violence, or will you provide them a safe environment?
Always bear in mind that a flourishing marriage shouldn’t threaten nor compromise your and your children’s health and safety in any way.
8. Respect for each other is no longer there.
If you will really think about it, having to experience infidelity, abuse, and violence inside the marriage could only mean that the respect is already gone.
But respect is not just about being loyal or caring about your spouse’s welfare. There are many ways to show respect to each other.
Thus, if you no longer feel respected or you are doing things that no longer show respect to your spouse, then there is a big chance that your marriage might be over.
9. Won’t go to therapy
One of the biggest steps to take in a marriage is to recognize that there is a problem, and to find ways to solve them.
If you are experiencing extreme distress because of your marriage, therapy is the best way to go.
But if one or both of you refuse to go to therapy and resolve any conflicts you might have, then the marriage will remain troubled, and so will the people involved.
Even when there is a reason behind the refusal to go, unresolved conflicts will only result in bigger and harder problems, and more negative emotions are only piling up.
10. Therapy isn’t working.
Now, you and your spouse might have given therapy a shot, but the question is, is it working for the both of you?
It’s a good sign that you both went to therapy, as it means that you are still giving your marriage a chance.
However, take note that sometimes therapy just won’t work for several reasons.
But, if the reason is that one or both of you don’t see the need in changing, or for other selfish reasons, then your marriage might have already lost its meaning.
11. Stopped trying to make things work
This could be the final straw in your marriage. But, exerting even the tiniest amount of effort to make your relationship work means that there is still hope.
It means that there is still a chance of reconciling, of meeting halfway, of wanting to stay together, and of keeping your marriage alive.
Therefore, no longer trying to make things work simply means that the marriage is no longer important, and so is not the other person.
Every marriage experiences problems and conflicts, and even though it consequently leads to marital distress, it doesn’t always end in separation and divorce.
However, there are still some instances when it feels like it’s about to be over.
In the end, even though many red flags can be present in your marriage, it is still up to you and your spouse to decide if it’s still worth staying for.